A home away from home

A tribute to all the Belgaumites who have moved to Bangalore for work purpose, to all the migrants moved from your native place to any other place in the World.

Scene 1: The Year of Graduation

Hey, where did you get placed? which company?

The most likely answers were: TCS, Infosys, CTS, KPIT, Quest, and Persistent

(Mass recruitment at TCS, Infy, and CTS)

Wow ya! me too TCS Bangalore, yay!!

Hey, that's great we shall stay together in a PG or share a flat.

Sure!

Booked VRL/SRS bus (by default)

Parents: you took all the things na, toothpaste, phone charger, how much money you have in hand? take this XY amount, you will need during an emergency.

Okay, all the items checked. Take parents blessings, Bye Mom & Dad. Take Care.

Take care beta, have food on time, be careful when you go out, return home before it turns dark, call us for anything you need, all the best, do well!

We now have sealed our fate, the moment we boarded the bus, for things won't be the same when we return back.

The chatter of the girls continues on the bus.

Hey, will go to Phoenix Mall (largest mall in Bangalore) and also I want to see Lal Bagh (botanical garden) and don't tell anyone but let's also go to Toit (Pub) Wow, will have so much fun. 

Sure! maybe someday we can try the food at Adigas or MTR (famous food joints)

That excitement of staying with friends, new place, new habits, new challenges, much to explore and learn, that feeling on the last day of every month when your phone beeps with "credited XX,XXX Rs." It's time for party and shopping!

"This is the time to remember because it will not last forever; these are the days to hold on to because we won't although we want to."

                                      - Billy Joel 

Scene 2: Cosmopolitan city, Woohoo Bangalore!!!

Welcome to Namma Bengaluru!!!

The Silicon Valley of India, where distance is measured in units of time!

Your office time maybe 9 am - 5 pm but you leave home at 7 am and reach by 9 pm.

A city of multicultural comfort, languages, genre etc.,

A city buzzing with events, social activities, TED talks, marathon, competitions, workshops, educational seminars, disco parties, voluntary programs, stand-up comedy acts etc.,

Most social and hospitable people, ethnically diverse city of India, the Pub city of India, the city for the start-up business, the center for health-care, strong art and culture scene, a city that hosts International and Indian band & artists, a city with the crowded traffic.

Where the 1^st profession is an IT Engineer and the 2^nd is a Real Estate business, every corner space is either filthy or building construction in progress... that's the present Bangalore to you!

A city that wraps everyone with the finest weather!

A city that keeps everyone busy with office work or to grow personally

A foodie's paradise, finest restaurants with varieties of food, whether it's a roadside momos, Idli-Vada or "Filter kaafi" a lively city, to live and let live!

This place is a home for many migrants around the country and the World.

Scene 3: Corporate Life

HR: What are your strengths and weakness?

Me: Bla Bla Bla...

HR: Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?

Me: (In Mind) - where will the company's growth be in the next 5 years? Will I be converted to a Permanent Employee? You are not sure of extending my contract after 1.5 years and you're asking me where will I be in the next 5 years?? I will be at the exit interview. No, No. I can't say this. I will be fired before I get hired.

Me: I will be the Team Lead/Manager.

HR: ok give me examples of how will you handle a team during project crisis

Me: Bla Bla Bla...

HR: First 6 months you will be in a probation period, have to sign a contract bond of 1.5 years, if you break it in between, you need to pay 70,000Rs. Can you join tomorrow?

Me: what are the benefits/perks? Will I have work from home option? any onsite opportunities? incentive compensations? is the salary negotiable?

On the first day of work when you're introduced to your teammates and the most likely question from them is "you are from which place?"

There's a reason why the first thing we often ask someone when we meet them, right after we learn their name is "where's home for you?" because we recognize something important about them.

While only a few of the teammates will be localities the rest will be either Tamilians, Biharis or Malayalis.

You get to learn a language or two, their culture, the yummy variety of food during Potluck in office.

The first few months you undergo training, and then time flies by so soon that we give certification exams, well acquainted with office, people, colleagues, the usual routine, come home cook/order food eat and sleep.

The fun during team outings, weekend night out parties, those initial days at the office, "the moment I saw you", Ahh he is always late and doesn't work at all but he is the one who gets good appraisals, office politics, when you start sharing a thing or two with colleagues, that bonding with colleagues turns into a relationship, BFF etc.,

While some of us start actively looking for better job opportunities, others are satisfied with their yearly pay hike, those uncertain layoffs, farewell parties, few of us emotionally attached and been best of friends in no time, some of us get an onsite opportunity, that social status tag on Facebook and Instagram, when they return back with goodies and chocolates.

In between all these, do I miss my home?

"Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make latitudes and longitudes."

         -Henry David Thoreau

Scene 4: Homesickness

"My father says you remember the smell of your country no matter where you are but only recognize it when you're far away"

                     - Aglaja Veteranyi

Often we realize the importance of things, people, and place when we are far away from it. Homesickness is one of them.

Things we missed the most are Parents, the yummy food that Mom prepares which cannot be replaced by anyone, not even the finest restaurants in the world, the emotional touch and comfort, the care and lessons that Dad taught, the good old buddies, the cool and the calm city!

Staying away from home, made me miss so many functions, parties, and weddings of near and dear ones.

The birthdays we missed, the news that " you became an aunt - you cousin delivered a baby boy", the last chance to say goodbye to those who left us forever. On the other hand, life is speeding up and I am learning to capture these tiny little moments with family on Skype calls.

The smallest trivia, a food, a smell, can swamp you with homesickness.

Nostalgia. Time and Distance.

Scene 5: I am going home for few days (off from work)

The place I possess, my iconic status, the place I belong. 

Ahh... that phantasmagorical feeling of going home...

Even before parents call to check where have you reached, I must have woken up at least a 3 - 4 times to check where have I reached

Hmmm, I don't know where this place is, Sleep.

After sometime

Oh, I reached Hubli, ok sleep, after half hour, oh Dharwad already.

Finally nearing the "HireBagewadi" toll pass. And the sleep is gone at this place, wide awake!

Bus Driver: haa... Gandhinagar, Gandhinagar (one of the area name in Belgaum)

Dad: where did you reach? Ok, I will come to pick you at XY stop.

Once I reach home, Mom to Me: hey gal, you have become so thin, you're not having food on time na, and it starts, the pampering and preparing your favorite dishes, to getting the things that you need/want.

Me to Mom: I am here only for 4 days, I am not going anywhere, nor to meet anyone. That peaceful feeling when you are at home, a rest to the mind, body, and soul.

One fine day, when thoughts pondered over me,

How every little thing has changed, My life is changing at a non-stop pace,

I now have 2 sim cards, 2 bank accounts

I have grown up to be an independent girl, I can manage things on my own,

Gone are the days, when I played gully cricket, Hide n Seek, Chappi, Lagori etc.,

When someone asks's me "how's life in Bangalore" and I lack the right words to convey all that I am experiencing

At some time I realized that people and things just pass by, that's when I have to strike a right balance between bonding and letting go - a battle between Nostalgia and pragmatism.

When your life's journey is filled with uncertainty, you grow up in unexpected ways,

What I have seen & felt, heard and smelled is made me a person Who I am today

We learn, broaden horizons, we evolve, we feel homesick, and then it strikes - Life won't wait for you. You now feel capable of everything!

Now I wonder what it means to give up comfort, start everything from scratch, and wonder at the world

Whenever we travel, we end up stockpiling new clothes, new stationery items, books, mugs etc., and when we are arranging these things, we find a new home in a new city! A place for all the memories, pictures, long-distance calls with family and friends. Home is where the heart is!

Bangalore will always be my 2^nd home, a city which gave and taught me so much in life, this place certainly has a memory to be cherished forever. A Home away from home.

Scene 6: The usual mood when you reach Bangalore

Bus Driver: haa... Jalahalli Cross, Jalahalli Cross (One of the area name in northern Bangalore)

who wants to get down at Jalahalli Cross

And his voice is enough to wake you up from a sleep coma. My friend shooks me by the elbow, wake up... we have to get down at the next stop

Me: Uff man, office again (so many thoughts running - meetings, office politics, deadlines, targets, etc.,) 

Why Lord Why?

Bus Cleaner: get down soon, the traffic light will turn red

Me: Hmmm... (thinking if you can take me back home in your tonight's return journey)

While the Ola/Uber cabs are unavailable at the moment, I bargain with the Auto Rickshawallas

Me: Sir, Whitefield (one of the area name in Bangalore)

He: Come, sit, starts the Auto

Me: How much? What's the fare?

He: Banni Amma (Come Madam) 350 Rs

Me: What? No way, Max. 200 Rs I will pay. If you want you come, (As though I am not in a hurry to go to the office) Sir, if I add 150 Rs. to it, I will reach my native... 

The saga continues...

To my unknown/future life partner

To my unknown/future life partner, 

I hope you and your parents are doing great! Wherever you are, whoever you are, hope things are good at your end.😊

Before I proceed to write more, I have a million-dollar question for

you – where were you all these days?? (Read: Years for society

people) More than me, the society, relatives, and neighbours, friends of friends, unknown people, and social network sites are craving for my update on “life event” status on my profile.

They say “marriages are made in heaven”, I don’t know if ours is

going to be “made on the matrimonial site”, “made in

office/malls/wedding reception of someone else’s wedding” I don’t know… I just hope you exist on this planet.

The day we meet is going to be like “How I met your mother” (an 

English TV series) because, I and my parents have tried to search you in all the ways, but dude you are playing a hide and seek game with me.

I mean, all the traditional Indian way to contact and share my 

Biodata across, states, relatives, distant relatives, flowing between the rivers reaching somewhere in Chikodi, Hubli, Dharwad, Gulbarga matrimonial agents, getting uploaded on Matrimonial websites, attached a document and sent through Emails, so many xerox copies of my Biodata, Uff… and the amount the agents charge for me to just see you and know you… A real business. Oh ya, and how can I not miss to consult an Astrologer at this stage. 
While some of them asked me to visit a temple, chant a sacred message for 21 times, fast on a particular day, some predicted I would get married at 31y/o, right now you have "Sadesati" going on in your horoscope etc., for me the sole purpose to visit an astrologer was to know what life has in store for me and a temporary hope. 

How I wonder that I am writing a letter to you and pouring my 
feelings out and you might be busy chilling with your girlfriend or 
trying to impress your crush! or you might be looking at the same 
dark night sky and adoring its beauty and wishing something just like I do. 😇

As I write this post, I have 70 days left for my XX.yrs of

Birthday. And as usual, people will say another year has gone by, when will you get married?

Unlike any Indian Parent, My parents are worried too about my marriage, for I have been convincing them “everyone has their own time zones, and he will be worth my wait” but you know parents are parents 😊

For at times, I do feel and ask myself “in which corner of the world are you sitting” God knows, in what way I am going to meet you, or who is going to introduce you to me, or do we know each other from before. I have no idea when or how will we meet, whether will have that instant spark of attraction at first meet, go on a few dates and then one of us proposes, or become friends, stay in denial of our feelings so that it might not ruin our friendship, and then finally fess it up? Whichever way it is, it will be our story. The story of how we fell in love. And thus, by default, it will be amazing.

I prefer to get married in a temple or do a court registered marriage. Offcourse with mutual agreement. 

I like to keep it short and simple with limited members only. 

I don't believe in the concept of inviting hundred's of people, like why inform the World we are getting married. Of which half will be unknown to us, some will be just a hi-bye types, some others will be there to gossip. Very few gems (genuine and closed ones) will stand by us, and only they will be invited for the wedding! 

We can always use this saved amount of money constructively either to build our house, explore new places or something worth it. 

Afraid! Aren’t you? Who is this girl, who wants to hold your hand? Whether I deserve you? What could be our future? Well frankly, I am totally anxious to know who that person in my life is and how things are going to work out between us. But will stand firm to make this happen. 

I'll never compare you with my brother or my father or my  

best friends. For, I know they are the hardest gems I have found and I don't even think if someone similar to them will exist. At the same time, I know your first Love will be your Mother and you should love her more than me. What I need is you too are not going to compare me with your Mother or your sister. 

I will respect your parents, nurture them, and try to meet their

expectations. 

They say a marriage is not just where a girl and boy get married but the families too. I will be a daughter to your parents and a sister to your siblings. Please be the 2^nd son of my parents and an elder brother for my brother.

I have a few expectations. But those are minimal

I believe the foundation of a Relationship is Respect, Trust Understanding and Love. 

• Respect should be mutual
• An understanding between us. Don't worry, we will build it with time

I'm a homely person, I prefer spending time at home on weekends but I'm open to going out. I like traveling, exploring culture and food. 
 I rarely watch movies and a big

No to TV serials. 

I do like watching cricket and football matches. 

 Secondly, I love

to shop alone, all these days/ years I go alone to malls or grocery shops for

shopping. If you can’t accompany me

because of your busy work/or want to rest on the weekend, I 

am absolutely Okay.

Just because I am staying in Bangalore for my professional job doesn't mean I have adopted to the metro lifestyle, I very much value non-metro life as my native is Ankalgi in Gokak. I like village life more than buzzling metro city life. 

I love cooking and have experience of cooking to as many as 9 

people all alone. Beginning with starters, full meals to desserts. 

I am trained to prepare chocolates and pastries at home. So I

will definitely tickle all your taste buds and you may have to 

really work hard to maintain your weight. 😉

I'm a vegetarian and I'm ok if you are a Veg/Eggeterian/Non-vegetarian. 

I love hosting family and friends for a get together at home so we will have a
great time together.

But on one or two days of every month I may not be in a

condition to cook, will have mood swings and will need rest, 

because of menstruation cycle (periods). Please try and

cooperate during those 2 days.

I am not the one to click pictures and upload on 
Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp status to tag you and say “you’re the best hubby in the world. Happy anniversary my love, so glad to have you in my life and blah blah blah … it’s a turn off for me. We can always show this affection personally. 

We could sit on the couch and discuss any random topics in this

world, from our own lives, or office lifestyles and corporate politics to anything. I will be a good listener, at any cost communication no matter how big or small, it should be shared.

I am not good at singing neither a Bathroom singer, will be good to 

sing only when I am in a group of singers.😁 So while playing truth or dare or during any of your family functions please don’t ask me to sing or dance, I feel shy to dance alone.☺  I am a travel enthusiast, hope you are too so that we go on long drives and explore places and cultures. I love playing table-tennis anytime. I am good at sketching and drawing.

Btw, I love giving surprises and I am good at it. So you’re going to be the lucky one at the receiving end…

I am a Dancer, Artist, Chef, broad-minded, extrovert moody and an over-thinker at times. I love doing social activities and keeping myself busy. I am Okay if you are workaholic (I love workaholic people) but you should value our quality family time and not mix up professional and personal life and the same applies to me.

All I need is your valuable time and your presence forever. I just want you to stay for our life, and fight for our relationship as a team together, as that's only what I'm willing to offer and bet my heart and love on now: togetherness forever.

Dear future husband, I would be your wife, your friend, the mother of our children. When your friends would leave you, I will be there, when your parents will wither away due to their old age, I will be there, when your siblings would be busy with their families, I will be there, when our children will leave us for living their new life, I will be there, and when you will be a bald, toothless, weak and shrunken man, even then I will be there with you. Please don't keep away the small or big secrets from me. I don't expect you to tell every single detail of your life, but please never hide the important stuff that may affect our lives in major ways. The same applies to me. 

Please continue working hard and achieve whatever you want to, 

my secret prayers are with you and my claps would be the loudest to motivate you. Same way, I have certain ambitions in my life, and I would want you to be there with me. 

Yours and only yours,

Future Life Partner

For all others who have asked or been asking when will I get married,

For one sure thing I know is,

God has not overlooked me.

He has something and someone in store for me.

Remember, HIS TIMING.